One of the best and worst things about long term projects is that you revisit the same materials over and over again. It is the best because when you revisit something, you get a chance to see it differently. This allows you to gain new insights and make new progress. But, it is the worst because you see everything that you did wrong or would do differently and you know that, for some of it, there is nothing you can do about it.
I’ve been working on a few drafts of things and it has been both heartwarming and cringeworthy. It has been heartwarming because I am enormously proud of the work I’ve done in the past three years. Some of it is undeniably the best work I’ve ever done. And, it is cringeworthy because even as the best work I’ve ever done, it is still flawed in places. That’s hard because I don’t just want it to be my best work, I want it to be recognized by others as good work. Also, part of me wants it to be perfect. Of course, research and writing are never perfect and I can’t let this desire get in my way of completing that.by