The Film Noir Experience

My iPod and my new laptop don’t seem to want to play nice with each other. You really have to work to make them work together. I’ve needed, for a long time, to remove some digital junk from my life (much of which has, in one for or another, found its way onto my iPod) and I’ve taken this opportunity to go through some of this stuff and cull it from my iPod and my life.

Even if I still end up with the same metaphorical amount of baggage, in the end I will be short some of my literal baggage. As it turns out, I am in possession of a number of backup copies of stuff from my latest ex. (”Latest” is perhaps the wrong word to use here, since we and I have not been together now for almost two years.) As it turns out, if you just keep adding things to your disc-space enabled iPod without actually checking to see what is there, this sort of thing happens.

Anyway, I loaded a bunch of my music from my iPod to my computer and then told iTunes genius to make me a playlist based on ‘Joga’ from one of my favorite Björk albums Homogenic. So, it played ‘Joga’ for me. All of Homogenic is complex with techno beats and strings and eerie and excellent Brörk vocals and lyrics that resonated with me when it came out in 1997 and that recently have come to resonate with me again. For example, I’m going hunting/I’m the hunter/I’ll bring back the goods/but I don’t know when from ‘Hunter’ (which it played later down in the list). I’ve been working on my qualifying project (so that I can eventually progress to the dissertating stage of the PhD) these lyrics just seem to fit. I have this idea, this hypothesis. And, from here I have to go hunting. I have to figure out if anyone else has blazed this trail I’d like to be on. I have to collect data and see if it supports my hypothesis. I’m going hunting. I’m the hunter. I will get the goods. But, I don’t really know when.

So, iTunes plays me this song and it follows it immediately with Bill Frissell’s “I am not a farmer” from his album Disfarmer. With no techno beat. With no vocals. Just guitars and some eerie strings at the end. This combination made me smile. I would never have thought to put these two things together. Yet, here they are. Different, yet alike. But, while I would say “I’m a Hunter” of myself, I don’t think I’d ever say, “I’m not a farmer”. In a literal sense, I do grow herbs and orchids in my apartment. And, I’m considering (have been for awhile now) expanding my little venture to include window boxes. (I think I might get enough sun to grow swiss chard, which would be lovely.) It seemed to me, when I first saw this that two things, namely hunters and farmers, were different. But, perhaps not. Perhaps, you would have to specify that you are the kind of hunter that gathers all of the necessities via hunting. I am a hunter and I am not a farmer. The alternative would be to say that I am a hunter and also a farmer, so someone who does a little cultivating and a little hunting. I am now intrigued by this.

Album: Homogenic
Artist: Björk
Song: Hunter

Album: Disfarmer
Artist: Bill Frissell
Song: I Am Not a Farmer

I have put together the weirdest mix CD ever.

Tell it to the Volcano
Everybody Hurts
Both Sides Now
Songbird
God Only Knows
This Tornado Loves you
Divorce Song
Take it Back
Eleanor
Holy Now

So, usually when you put together a mix CD, you try to have a theme. Or, at least I do. I try to put together a cohesive unit of music that say something (often to someone) about a topic. Not to get all Rob Gordon here (although, its probably too late for that) but music moves you, it speaks to your soul, or maybe just your head, but there is something about the power of music that is amazing. I’m not a musician, I can’t write songs or play an instrument (well), so my only opportunities to use music to let someone know something, to influence how they feel through the power of song is a mix tape. And, this mix seems to be about love and unhappiness. I wonder what that says about me?

NPR is freaking amazing, in case you didn’t already know that. I am a devotee. I have driveway moments all the time. Back when I lived in Iowa City, I was listening to a music show that was broadcast from the station at the University of Northern Iowa. I remember I was driving home from work, actually. And this song came on about religion. No, spirituality. No, life.

So, the song was just a guy with his guitar (and maybe a backup mandolin) in the studio singing this song about the miracle that is living. The song is about how when you’re little, you’re told about all these amazing things that happened back in the day and you think, “Gosh, why doesn’t anything cool like that happen now?” I mean, Joshua and the army of Israel brought down the walls of Jericho with their trumpets. Moses parted a sea. But, the older you get you come to realize that the world is full of things that are incredible and improbable and how wonderful that is.

And, to think, if I hadn’t been going home from work at that moment, I might never have heard the song at all.

Album: Million Year Mind
Singer/Songwriter: Peter Mayer
Song: Holy Now

I have to tell you, if it weren’t for my sister (and the good people of iTunes and their free tune a week), I would be sonically stuck in 2005. But, that being said, the song that I’m going to talk about in this post Beth probably clued me into around 2005.

I figured, even though I missed that week or so in the middle because of the *shudders* sinus infection, I stay get back on the blogging train and finish out my mix CD. After thinking about “Divorce Song” yesterday, another song about love gone wrong popped into my head. Back in 2004, my sister clued me into a band called Low Millions with their song “Eleanor” off their album Ex-Girlfriends.

So, this is another catchy tune with resignation. I won’t call you baby anymore and I can’t relate to what you say I’ve done and, I wish you’d release me from your spell. Because I wish this wouldn’t end, but you seem to want it to and I want to make you happy so…alright.

More recently, my sister has fueled a love of the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Duffy and Lady GaGa. But, its nice to go digging through the archives for catchy tunes about bad breakups.

Album: Ex-Girlfriends
Band: Low Millions
Song: Eleanor

And, while we’re on the topic of love gone wrong, I figured my little mix needed a song about patching things up again. I discovered Loquat during a fit of sleeplessness while living in Wales. They had a few songs uploaded to a site that used to get reviews (and the occasional free track) from (if I remember correctly…).

What I like about this song is just this idea that there are two strong willed people in this relationship and that is why the singer has to say, “I know what a jerk I am, or a pain in the ass you are.”

It is a soft, melodic song and it is enjoyable to listen to. Its the apology after the fight.

Album: It’s Yours to Keep
Band: Loquat
Song: Take it Back

Do you know what the best part about calling off an engagement is? You don’t have get divorced. I get nostalgic around this time of year…no, that’s not the word I’m looking for. Is there a word that means “nostalgia” except instead of meaning a wistful desire to return to a previous time in one’s life instead means an intense joy at making a decision that changed the course of your future and allowed you to not live in utter misery? If there isn’t such a word, there should be.

So, I was reading and listening to music the other day “Divorce Song” by Liz Phair came on and it made me think about my ex-fiance, and how happy I am that he’s not my soon-to-be ex-husband. (Because, seriously, that relationship existed way beyond its expiration date.) Divorce Song is on that excellent album Exile in Guyville. I didn’t really discover angry girl music until I got to college (preferring more industrial/punk in high school) and I was introduced to Liz Phair by a gay guy (of course, right?) I like “Divorce Song” because it should be angry but its more resigned. Like Liz has realized that it doesn’t matter how mad she feels about this break up, this relationship is over and there were things that they both could have done better but it doesn’t matter because sometimes over is just over.

Liz tells us that she would have stayed if she’d known how not staying would have sounded.

Album: Exile in Guyville
Artist: Liz Phair
Song: Divorce Song

Pandora has this way of playing songs that worm their way into my ear and then stay there. Forever. This happened last summer with the song “Tell it to the Volcano” by Miniature Tigers. This is a fun little ditty about getting your heartbroken. And, then letting your former beloved pay for what they’ve done to you. “You can summon all the Gods that your black heart desires/they can not help you because they’re starting fires…to burn you alive.” The last relationship I was in can be categorically summed up in the word “awful”, so I take a lot of comfort, even now when we broke up almost two years ago, in knowing that other people have been burned and come out the other side…with something pithy and upbeat to show for it.

I would hate to wish misery on another human being, but if its going to inspire something that makes people smile, maybe the misery is worth it.

Album: Tell it to the Volcano
Artist: Miniature Tigers
Song: Tell it to the Volcano

So, I’m not really sure that I approve of shopping for a cause (because *more* of your money would actually get where its going if you just gave to a reputable foundation) but recently I’ve bought a lot of music from which the proceeds have gone to charity.

Most recently I’ve bought the single Everybody Hurts put together by Simon Cowell and to which a bajillion artists contributed.

I’ve always liked this song because there is just something comforting about the notion that everybody at some point feels a little pain and that’s is just part of life. Its a nice little nod to the saying, “This too shall pass.”

“When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone….(just remember) Everybody hurts, everybody cries. Hold on.”

It is a really nice cover of the song, maybe not as slow as the original. And, all the different artists adding a their own little touch really focuses the ubiquity of the experience of life sucking. I highly recommend it.

Album: Everybody Hurts-Single
Artist: Helping Haiti
Song: Everybody Hurts

Back in the day (it feels like I’m saying that a lot lately), I went through this phase in which when I read a book, as a little review of it I would put together a mix CD. It was a fun little exercise that brought together two of my favorite activities, reading and listening to music.

Right now, I’m reading Constructions for a class (this is not likely to receive mix tape treatment), The Battle of the Labyrinth, and The Crimson Petal and the White. These last two may very well get their own mix tapes. Percy Jackson is a demigod, the son of Poseidon, and quite the little badass. His adventures are fast reads (reading teen fiction will do that for you) and are terribly entertaining. This one is book four. And, the Crimson Petal and the White is a look at Victorian England from multiple perspectives. Its seven hundred…thousand (hyperbole) pages long but so far its been terribly interesting. It starts off following a prostitute and then moves its way up through society. The mix tape potential is astounding. I could possibly do a song for each person that is followed!

Now, why am I bringing this up now? Well, when the NaBloPoMo people sent me an email to say that February’s topic for anyone up to the challenge of blogging everyday of the shortest month of the year was “love”, I thought, “Hey, wouldn’t it be interesting to come up with a mix tape representation of the many different kinds of love at there in the world?” (Even more interesting when one considers how odd and awfully awkward I am when it comes to any kind of human interaction.)

You may have noticed that I’ve been ending entries with songs. I am collecting these things into a list so that I can put them together as a mix. So, you’ve been warned.

I’ve been thinking a lot about running lately. And, I’ve been doing a lot of running in place (in my office with the door shut or with my curtains drawn in my flat.) How’s that for a mental image? If you met me after, say, 2007, this is going to sound ridiculous, but I assure you that I have not always been built like a weeble. My friend Tom, awhile back, decided that he was going to run a ultramarathon. I thought, hey, if he can train to run 100 miles, that I could train to run a portion of that and I could pace him. (He was looking for pacers at the time.)

So, I used to wait until sun went down and run around my neighborhood. And, sometimes I would meet Tom at the track and run with him. Tom is an incredibly patient and wonderful human being. He’d run with me, at my speed, and then when I was done he’d do his real training. You can tell someone really loves something when they take the time to share that love with people who are nowhere near their level.

About that time, Arcade Fire’s Funeral came out. My other friend, Jonathon, who is also a runner recommended that I pick it up and do my jogging to it. Jonathon and I have always had similar workout music taste and I already had picked up Funeral, so it was worth going out for a jog to it. (On an unrelated note: if when you hit a plateau with your workout program, I recommend Iron Maiden.)

So, yesterday I was sitting on my sofa, winding down at the end of the day when “Crown of Love” popped into my head by Arcade Fire. Sometimes, songs stand all on their own and I think “Crown of Love” is a good example of that. It is a good song all by itself. But, I remember there being something special about the album Funeral as a whole. So, I got it out and I listened to it. It is theatrical and exciting. This album was an impulse buy when I first bought it. I had read a little about the band and I wanted to see what everyone was talking about, so on an impulse I picked it up. At the time I had been listening to a bunch hardcore bands and this was such a change of pace with melodies, strings, a story. Given that I’ve been jogging in place and trying to blog about love this month, it isn’t a surprise that this song popped into my head. Maybe I’m wrong about it, but I feel like this song as a “Send in the Clowns” feel to it. A sort of “I let it fade and it turns out I was wrong to do that.” I just have this thought attached to this song, this notion that you have to be careful with love. And, sometimes it dies and sometimes it grows and sometimes you fuck up and have to be taken into receivership until you can sort things out.

Right, I’m going to go jog in place some more.

Album: Funeral
Band: Arcade Fire
Song: Crown of Love