What’s going on in there?

One of the things that I have found with my meditation practice is that it helps me when I’m feeling restless. Last week I had a lot of phone trouble. This meant that in the space of four days, I had to reset my phone three times. Making sure everything was backed up, signing out, resetting, and then reloading everything meant that I didn’t have access to a lot of the little apps that keep me on track and from imploding into a little fire ball of nervous energy.

And, of course, every one of these resets happened at the end of the day so that I was waiting for things to finish setting up so I can re-download apps while I was sleeping. The third time this happened, I was so overtired by the time I made it to bed that I tossed and turned for awhile. Then, I was frustrated because I’ve dealt with this in the past by doing a guided meditation (but of course none of those apps had re-downloaded yet to my phone.) That’s when it occurred to me that I could find a guided meditation on YouTube.

Meditation is about focus, awareness and presence (at least, that’s what I think it’s about. I could be wrong. I am so not an expert). So, at the end of your meditation, you should be awake. Obviously, if you get carried off into sleep that is okay. It happens sometimes. But, it shouldn’t be your goal. And, that sort of seems counter-intuitive. Why should I do something that I should be awake when I’m trying to fall asleep? I suppose the answer to that is I should do it because it helps me deal with my overtired, cranky restlessness. So, I googled guided meditations and settled on the link below. I really like body scans. There is something about focusing on your body and checking in with how you feel that is really grounding and calming. It worked. I may have been a little agitated towards the end of the half hour but I made it to the end, awake, aware and mostly calm. Afterwards, I had no trouble falling to sleep.


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