this post has been edited to better reflect the identity of my friend. I hope.
Me: Thanks for picking me up at a weird time of night from my horrible adventure. Wanna beer?
Friend who is a straight guy: I love beer.
at my apartment
Me: Sorry the place is such a mess. As you know, I wasn’t intending to be gone.
F-W-I-A-S-G: I’ve seen worse.
Me: Ya, but I’m a girl.
F-W-I-A-S-G: Why you gotta be so gender-normative. I have some websites you needa read